Friday, 24 May 2013

End of year personal review

It's hard to believe (and somewhat troubling to think) that another year of my life has gone by; and it has done so without me. I feel over the last couple of months I have truly worked hard. I dedicated myself to the work I had to do, I improved myself in areas which I found I was weakest and I learned to gain more satisfaction for what I did. When I say the year has gone by without me, I am simply stating the realisation that for the last couple of months I have been in what I can only describe as a sort of limbo. An area in which I hadn't the time for a lot of things, for where work was the most important thing on my mind constantly and for where my stress levels had probably hit an all time high. Reading this would probably give the impression that I'm borderline suicidal, however that couldn't be further from the truth. Through working hard and pushing myself further I have found a strength inside me I wasn't aware of. And with that a desire which I haven't truly felt until now: to get myself into the games industry one way or another.

I honestly up until fairly recently held no belief that I would make it in this business, or that I would finish this course for that matter. I am surprised with the way I'm handling this as well. Now that I'm finally done for the year I half expected myself to veg out and seek to catch up on the months of social life I had missed out on. However, I'm already contemplating the prospects of what summer projects I can set myself and how I can improve upon the work I had done this year. Its this realisation that made me understand that I want this more than I think.

So what has university done for me? I believe it has provided the catalyst in which I was able to alter my mindset from student to career-seeker. I found I have matured a lot since first starting at university. I've learned more life lessons in the past couple of years than I have most my life. I've learnt to live away from my parents and take care of myself. I've also learnt to deal with the harshness of real life.

I expected to come to university and leave with a degree and hopefully a job soon afterwards. But I realise as well that it isn't as simple as that. Its a lot harder work than I had anticipated, and that if I'm serious about this career option then I best be prepared to work hard. I am also excited at the prospects of what I might gain upon completing my degree and discovering what options would be available to me.

At the moment I sit here, knackered out of my head after having pulled yet another all-nighter to make sure all of my work is up to date and ready for hand-in. I'm tired and would love for nothing more than to crash into my bed right as this moment but I also can't help but remain excited for whats ahead and the prospects of improving myself and getting better. Whether I end up working in the games industry after this course is still a mystery to me, however I believe the lessons I have learned during the process will prove invaluable for the rest of my life.

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